I never let the seasons dictate the practice of gratitude. However, it helps make it official. Here it is, my official “What I am Thankful for” spiel.
One year ago, I was basking in free rent and careless thoughts. I was free, yet encased in my post revelation “now what-ness”. I would have never thought that within a few months I would have sprung out of bed with the spontaneous thought to visit Colorado for the Woman Grow Summit. I felt as though I was on cruise control and my body was working before my brain. Sometimes that’s a good thing.
So there I was, February 2017: alone, in a shitty taxi that cost $70 to my semi-shitty hotel. Which, still procured a shitty grin. I didn’t care. I was alone and free. I was in a city that I only once visited briefly. I paid the man, dropped my bags off, and went the Pot Shop down the street. I wandered the streets. Got a sandwich at Cheba Hut and accidentally stayed for beer and trivia. I was there quite a while and made a few friends. I smoked a joint with some old haggard looking man. He had stories and I liked to listen. Strangers are great.
The next day was the Summit. My Uber (which smelled of cannabis) dropped me off at the Opera House. Which also smelled of cannabis. LOL. It was a long day of inspiration for me. As I sat back in the red puffy seats, I wrote. One speaker provoked us to write goals for the following year. My first bullet point consisted of the words, “Move to Colorado”.
That is not why I came. But that is what I brought back with me. I slowly conjugated some thoughts. Many thoughts. And no thanks to the Jack Kerouac book I was reading at the time. But there I was, randomized plans to move from suburbs of Chicago, IL to Denver, CO.
I quit my freedom job in April, I arrived on Cinco de Mayo, and began working in the cannabis industry by June. Here I sit, thinking back, it hasn’t been that long, I have already experienced so much, yet nothing at all. I have learned so much, but I am nowhere near an expert. There’s a place here for me. I have taken a risk and I am thankful for walking through fear.
I love my support system back in the Midwest. I miss them and appreciate them more than I could have mustered in the past. I have a clear vision of my feelings toward my previous life. It has brought me here.
These coming holidays will be different. I wish to teleport home to enjoy one meal with my family but I wish to instantaneously be back here after the meal. I am thankful to miss them and I am thankful to feel like I am making my own foundation. I am thankful for extensive phone calls. I am thankful for the time I have loaned out to the new people I am meeting here. And for the time they have given me. I am thankful for delicious craft beer, legal cannabis, strangers, inspiring people, my first bullet point, fear (and loathing), change, and nostalgia. And my best friend/roommate. Roommate/best friend.
I don’t exactly know where I am going from here but I am thankful to know that it is in the direction of forward.